So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
