just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
