there's paper in my vomit.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
