I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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