OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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