theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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