see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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