He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
