well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
