There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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