just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
