Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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