i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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