My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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