I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
