i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
