we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
