i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
