i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
