Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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