i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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