I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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