I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
