did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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