Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
