used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my shit smells like andre
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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