Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
