i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
PANTIES FOUND
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
