and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
