based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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