Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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