kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
