so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
