I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
