and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Everclear isn't food dammit
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
