This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
