my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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