So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
