All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
