the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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