Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
