Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
