you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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