Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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