Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
