No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
