Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
