she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
