You work out of a Hotel?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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