it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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