I think I am morally bankrupt
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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