She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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