I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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