you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
